Issue 21 July 2019
This issue's theme: Relationships
Welcome to the newest edition of the PRH Australia newsletter.
In this edition we are focusing on the R in PRH… Personality & Human Relationships.
We humans are meant for relationships. When we are in respectful, loving and enriching relationships, we thrive. As usual, here we share some of the rich contributions received from the PRH community, all about relationships!
Maud for the e-Newsletter team Zofia, Maud and Debbie
Relationship with our Deep Conscience by Mark and Maria
When we listen to our deep conscience and act form it, we are relating deeply with ourselves. We are who we are meant to be. This is why exercising our ability to make the right decisions for ourselves, in line with our deep conscience, is so important. Here Mark and Maria share how they feel when making a good decision… powerful stuff!
When I make a good decision, I feel… relief and satisfaction and a sense of taking back control.
It’s like a weight has been lifted off myself and it gives me a chance to refocus and stay focused in many aspects of my life and certainly makes me a stronger person internally and I appreciate myself for who I am, regardless of others and their thoughts, in fact, a feeling of pride in myself and a sense of forgiveness.
When I make a good decision, I feel… a real sense of being true to myself.
It is courageous. I feel in control. There is a drive to better myself and not let other people control me or put me down. It is also a sense of surviving. If I don’t do it, I am really unsure of the outcome.
I have belief in myself that I deserve better, that I am worthy of better. It takes determination and strength to make the change. (I can see this is all growth)
Making decisions – using the image of the hand by Lia Commadeur
The Little finger represents the Sensibility – “Can I deal emotionally with the decision and its consequences? Does is give me peace and contentment, and leave me calm and confident?”
The Ring finger represents the Body – “Have I got the physical capability and energy to carry this out?” (The Romans believed that the vein in the ring finger on the left hand ran directly to one's heart.)
The Middle finger represents the Being – “Am I being my true self? Is this who I really am or who I want to be?”
The Index finger represents the ‘I’ and points to the head – “Am I taking all the facts and people involved into consideration? What are the options and consequences?”
The Thumb represents the Deep Conscience – “Does my inner compass point to what is right, good, wholesome and true, and give meaning to my life?’
If the pivotal centres are basically in agreement, the Deep Conscience gives the ‘Thumbs Up’.
Relationship with a loved one
Kathy shares the amazing richness that can be awakened in us in a positive relationship with a beloved partner.
“My underlying motivation is that I want what is constructive for us both individually and as a couple”
I ask myself:
“What goes well with my husband?”
My sensation is "alive" in me; my Sensibility is active;
My “I” has intentions, my body co-operates;
Value of Being; there is a prompting to be “present” to the other;
I am motivated to sit down; to do the work of analysis: I have the determination, I am open to my inner reality, I have a taste for the truth;
Humility to hear & accept the truth, even if not comfy;
Faith in the strength of our relationship - a feeling of strength, solidity & serenity (life-giving relationship);
I am in touch with my own sense of solidity (Being);
I feel connected to my deep conscience to make good decisions.
Relating with like-minded people who share the same values as us is incredibly life-giving
Relationships in a Life-Giving Community
On June 1, fifteen of us, who call ourselves Friends of PRH, came together to meet as a PRH Australia Community – nine of us were in Melbourne and six of us were online from different parts of Australia.
We shared what we felt we wanted from being part of the PRH Australia Community - what would fill us with life as well as how we can contribute to PRH Australia...
Setting up sub-committees in our specific areas of interest e.g. two of our group are interested in exploring the connection between song-writing and the PRH process.
Identifying the needs and difficulties of family and those close to us and finding the best ways of communicating how PRH could help them in these areas.
Creating a sense of belonging by working on a project together e.g. Analysing the data of a PRH Survey.
Being involved in creating short modules for a particular group online or in person.
Engaging in an evolving conversation that communicates the discourse that “It is normal to grow”.
Getting external support by canvassing community leaders for funding to support PRH Outreach.
Researching the psychological basis of the PRH method to communicate with various organisations involved in personal growth approaches.
We came away from our meeting filled with energy and enthusiasm and a deep sense of being connected.
Paula Evitts, a retired PRH Educator, from Montana, USA continues to help people. Here she describes her experience of helping people who are dying.
In the course of my work as a member of a parish team I spent many hours with the dying.
When I lived in Seattle for 15 years I had many times sitting with the dying... one of my dear friends, Susan B had a long battle with breast cancer. Just this week I found her last note to me in a book on my shelf "Thanks for the prayer and advice- both are wonderful." Susan had a deep spirituality and was not afraid of dying... I saw her the day she died and before leaving her I whispered in her ear "safe travels dear Susan".
A friend in Great Falls Montana, Judy's husband Waven, was dying of many illnesses at age 80. Often I would spare Judy so she could go out and do some crafts for a couple of hours with friends. Judy left us movies to watch to pass the time. We never watched the movies. Waven said "Let’s sit at the kitchen table and talk" so for 2 hours he would tell me things that he felt he could not say to Judy.
He cried with me over leaving her, he told me of his love for his farming days, raising sheep, being with the ewes and their lambs, growing crops from his fertile ground. I felt he was a poet deep inside... his words were full of colour, sound, and texture. I felt blessed to have nearly a year with Waven one evening a week. He was funny too. Some nights at the kitchen table he would tell jokes which I can no longer remember. I enjoyed being with him as he laughed.
Let’s Get Creative: My Relationship with my Creativity
Life-giving relationships are not only with other people. Debbie traces her relationship with her creativity and how that changed as her Being was more involved.
The earliest creating that I remember doing was knitting. A cousin taught me when I was 8 years old and I knitted earnestly for the next couple of decades. Although I was creating I didn’t necessarily feel creative. I might have played with colours for a striped scarf, for example, but generally I was following someone else’s pattern so I felt I was just following the instructions. So my Being wasn’t very involved in the knitting.
In 2001 I started scrapbooking: I had fun taking the photos, decorating pages, coming up with titles etc. Scrapbooking suited me as it could be as simple or elaborate as I wanted. And there was the added purpose of documenting: stories, events, a normal day or week….
Around 2012, I started having the urge to create a “What is art?” scrapbook album, I didn’t know why but as the urge was strong I eventually followed it. Over the next few years the album grew, it included pages on: designed gardens; graffiti that I titled “Art with a message”; cool door handles in the shape of forearms and hands; the gorgeous dragon from the Chinese museum; repurposed petrol pumps; sand sculptures; and “God’s art”: the beauty of nature. I remember looking at tattoo magazines at the time and admiring some of the gorgeous designs, but none of them seem to have made it to my album, as I flip through it today.
It took me a number of years to realise this Urge that I’d had was from my Being.
My Being wanted me to learn:
* art is not just what you find in museums and art galleries
* art and creativity come in many, many forms and can be found in many places
* most importantly, even though my creations are not in museums and galleries I AM creative and it is worth creating (again for many, many reasons!), if just for me.
Just recently my Being got involved in a project I am doing ….
I was given the task of making a list of positive affirmations about myself, and reading it morning and night. Two weeks later I had got nowhere. I had thought about it a number of times, but got no further than that. I find it easy to make blanket negative statements about myself, like “I am lazy” or “I am a poor housekeeper”; but when it comes to positive statements I feel obliged to qualify them by saying something like “I am loving, …. sometimes” or “I can be loving, when I am not too cranky…”
After two weeks of doing nothing I gave myself a good shake and said “I am going to do this: My way!” I used a little notebook and these pictures (to the right) are the result.
I love it. It is messy in places, imperfect, but perfect for what I need. I am so glad I listen to my Being much sooner these days, it is now very much an important part of my creativity.
Loving and Being Loved
(Four day workshop)
To understand your way of loving and being loved in order to experience it in a more satisfying way and develop a better understanding of this essential are of your life.
• The two types of needs underlying your loving relationships:
- the aspiration to love, and
- the need to be loved
• Exploration of the need to be loved and its origins; exaggerated
expressions of this need
• In-depth analysis of the aspiration to love by examining the essential components of love:
- attention to the other
- a sense of wonder at what you discover in the other
- respect for the other’s freedom
• The necessary conditions for harmonious growth in loving and being loved: areas for action and attitudes to cultivate.
For more information, please click here.
This is just a selection of the articles in this month's newletter; click on the PDF link opposite to read it all!
To read our previous issues, please click here.